From the heart of Ummu Ameer

feel free to visit my new blogS:

ummuameer.blogspot.com

onlynobleulfah.blogspot.com

nobleulfahfashionista.blogspot.com

nobleulfahkitchen.blogspot.com

Condemnation of Israel’s strikes and invasion on Palestine

Date: 9 JANUARY 2009 (FRIDAY)
Time: After Friday prayer (1.30pm)
Venue: In front of KOM

Everybody, please show our moral support by joining this assembly k. C u there!

Since I have stopped blogging in my other blog- Have A Cup of Cappuccino, i guess I become a very quiet person in this world of blogging. That is so undeniably unlikely haha. Really truth is, i desperately feel I need to express and continue to blog… but definitely I am not going to write here -sigh-…

I just want to inform anybody who is reading this.. i don’t write here anymore.. Currently I write at ummuameer.blogspot.com k =)

al kisahnya.. tadi after kepenatan g baking class from 10am-4pm.. bila sampai rumah je, terus ter on kan laptop. ter check lah my YM and friendster. ternampak lah yg my bro Umar tgh online, maka ter YM lah ngn dia. terbbagitaula kat dia yg his stomach was very much needed utk menghabiskan the breads and doughnuts that i have made kat class.. coz bawa balik 2 plastik besar roti and doughnut yg i have made kat class. so entah camne, dia tertanya la sedap ke tak roti2 tu, and tercakap la kat dia mestila sedap coz i paid an expensive fee. so dia pun tanya lagi berapa. i answered “50 euro for 2 days (coz kat france dia guna euro) murah jee. tapi rm250 for 2 days, mahal laa (especially utk org yg kemiskinan wang seperti saya ni)”

saya ter wonder la.. after umar dah g sebulan kat france, everytime we YM or Skype him, mesti cerita pasal tukar nilai duit. cthnya dia sewa bilik + makan 600 euro sebulan. bila convert jd RM, 600×5= RM3000 sebulan!!! just for a room and meal! giler mahal tak terkata. kalau kat malaysia, dah bole sewa banglo tuu, bole duduk satu family. and banyak la lagi benda lain.. kan kita semua tahu, satu hari di akhirat sama mcm seribu tahun di bumi (betul ke ni?). kadang2 kita rasa pelik macamana laa agaknye pertukaran tu eh?? dimensi yg terlalu berbeza, dunia yg terlalu berbeza..

and ummi selalu cakap, kita tak boleh compare duit malaysia dgn euro.. coz memang lain laa. tp i like to think about that.. sedangkan malaysia & france yg jauhnye baru la few hours naik flight… kita dah terkasima dgn nilaian tukaran matawang.. apatah lagi nilaian tukaran antara dunia dan akhirat sana… SUBHANALLAH!! barulah dapat menjiwai bagaimana sehari di akhirat berbeza dgn bumi…

If i were given the chance to choose the theme of my blog, then i would choose ‘bakery’. I guess that is 1 of the words that i like best. Truth is, most people judge a person through his/her writing. And they tend to be critical and conservational and theoretical as well (well i don’t say everybody, i say most). 1 thing that i like most is the concept Islam ad Deen- Islam is a way of life. It surely makes our life more meaningful and brighter. What is best with this concept is, it makes me feel that i am a good muslim even when i am baking =P or reading story books. Or writing everyday experiences in my blog, treating it as a diary all along. And yet sometimes i feel that it is inadequate to just laze around, feeling grateful all the time and enjoy my own life without doing something serious for the betterment of the ummah, for Islam. Or writing a blog on heavy issues related to Islam.

People might agree or they might disagree with my way. And that leads to the question “For whom do you write this blog?” and which forces me to answer “I write for myself” haha. My message is simple- Islam is a guide of how should we live our lives. Each of us can do anything that we want as long as it abides by the shariah. Being a muslim doesn’t spell the word OPPRESSION, but rather it symbolizes a true freedom within the boundary of worshipping Allah.

I am a muslimah who is striving to be a good one. Not to mention that each and every one of us should do the same. We make mistakes and we improvise.. that is the way I personally think should be- muhasabah and ishlah. Nothing wrong in sharing our ups and downs with others right?

And up to this moment, I still enjoy baking very much. And… i have baking class this weekend hahahaa. I baked pizza yesterday, and i baked moist chocolate cake the day before yesterday. Does that sounds too un-Islamic? =) I dream of opening a bakery hahahaa. A baker with MBBS degree insyaAllah =P

But Pizza Hut says something that sounds like nothing is tastier than having a split personality (if i am not wrong). I guess they are quite right after all.

hmm lama betul tak jenguk this blog. busy la konon huhu. having nothing to tell was definitely not the case. but i always wonder who read my blog? siapa? SIAPA? huu. of course i started to wonder when somone asked me “For whom do you write all these?” For myself of course! oh my such a narcissitic answer. when i pondered upon the question, i started to wonder myself “For whom do i write this blog?”.

I guess i use it as some kind of a diary.. where i can say anything i want, and keep forgetting that it can be easily accessed by the public. Well you see, some people can talk non stop if only they were given the chance and lent the ears. And some people can really write to such an unbelievable extent if only they were given the space. And obviously that’s me. Just don’t mention that the stuff being documented are nonsense huu (like what i’m doing write now)

And to be truthful, i always hope that nobody would bother to even have a glimpse of this blog. -sigh- and discover how unbelievable i can be- babbling around nonsensely. and to realize that i started off in writing this with an idea in my mind, and now i am about to stop, without dropping a single line on the actual thing i wanted to write on -sigh for the second time-

I walked past the toilet on the ground floor.. it stinks like anything.. urea haha
I entered the library and was greeted by bored-face librarians wearing green outfits
I sat in the teachers’ room and the sound of spinning fans, the afternoon heat and the faraway sound of boring conversations.. no nursery rhymes or lullabies are better to put me to sleep
I walked in the corridors, passing through bilik pendidikan seni and mony other rooms..
I climbed the dark stairs to the class and felt nauseated by the smell of crashed eggs
I looked at the school compound, covered by wheat floor
I encountered a fight among the students, each claiming the other threw tepung at the other..

5 years after i have left the school, Ahhh, some things just won’t change after all

I always wonder, behind everything that happens, what would the hikmah be? Most of the times it is hard to feel grateful with whatever we have until something happens and enlightens us on the hidden hikmah.. and we would never fail to feel ashame.. Malu dgn siapa? Malu pd Allah sebab Dia selalu memberikan yang terbaik sedangkan kita terlalu payah untuk bersabar.

Yes we know, that each and everyone of us was created with purpose- a general purpose which is to be a khalifah. But I always wonder why am I destined to be a female instead of male? Why am i choosen by Him to be the second child out of 5 siblings? Why am I doing medicine right now? Why does Allah give me specific characteristics- a combination of specific mahmudah and mazmumah attributes which creates the personality I’m wearing right now? And so many other things..

And Allah told us in the Quran that He doesn’t creates us just for fun.. each of us creates a special meaning, carve a unique template and marks our individual existence in this world with specific purposes.. And i keep wondering.. And the duration varies.. A baby born and allowed to live for a few seconds and then he dies.. don’t you think that is amazing. One might said, it would be better if he is never fertilized, never conceived at all.. then he won’t initially brings hope to his parents and in an instant create a space for grievances.. it is so purposeless..

If only… if only we realize that in things as small as ‘burping is relieving and it ultimately points to the grandeur of Allah the Almighty’.. then our life will be a wonderful experience full of discovery and gratitude.. And the ultra short existence of a baby is actually a motivation for the parent to lead a better life so that insyaAllah one day they’ll meet again in paradise.. the sorrow is indeed a blessing in disguise..but how often does that actually takes place?? -sigh-…

1 more week before our professional exam. Dlm kesibukan nak cram everything into the brain.. sometimes i feel like i miss some small things yet extremely important.. things that paint and colour my life, things that give meaning to my routine, things that make my everyday experiences so different.. things as small as berteleku atas sejadah in the darkness of the night, meluahkan rindu dan sendu dalam munajat kepadaNya or a having a strong feeling that hidup di dunia ni is just for a while.. semuanya sementara dan kita kan pulang jua…

Things that will take away the exam burden, knowing that life itself is an important exam which can’t be repeated or resit. Things that will make you feel a personal problem such as a marriage is so small and there are so many things left in the box to be enjoyed and cherished.

And suddenly in the madness of approaching exam, seakan akan waktu terhenti seketika, forcing me tro ponder upon what kind of life i have had lately. Mcm hilang segala kekuatan untuk terus melangkah, lalu ku tutup buku akademik, memberi laluan untuk bertapa seketika

And i realize that the world doesn’t revolves around me alone. And it makes me feel at ease. And in the same time i realize that i have to continue struggling and striving for excellence in the exam, because that is part of my jihad. Alhamdulillah, waktu yang terhenti place me back on the right track. Alhamdulillah